While sex toys are entering the mainstream more confidently than ever before, there still seems to be a wide gender gap as far as usage goes. Women buy and to utilize sex toys much more often than guys and the fact is confirmed via multiple surveys and consumer reports.
Sex toy ownership among ladies is significant. According to one survey, 65 percent of the female respondents have one kind of sex toy or another. Another found out that 52.5 percent of the female respondents had used a vibrator in one of three scenarios – masturbating alone, as a part of sex with a partner and as a part of foreplay with a partner.
And while sales of male sex toys have risen, there still seems to be some taboo surrounding male sexuality and using some kind of aid to achieve more pleasurable, long-lasting and thrilling experiences.
Why Does the Stigma Persist?
Society is becoming increasingly open about sexuality and sexual practices. So, why does the stigma persist when it comes to male pleasure?
According to authors, there’s still some element of shame related to fantasies and the ways in which men derive sexual pleasure.
Women went through an empowerment process over the past few decades. There were feminists and sexologists focusing on female pleasure and helping ladies understand that it’s ok to seek sexual enjoyment, to communicate that need with partners and to even employ accessories in the pursuit of a better orgasm.
Men didn’t go through a similar sexual revolution.
In today’s society, guys are supposed to be tough, independent and naturally sexual. They have to figure things out on their own or even worse – by employing “sexual education” like porn. Hence, guys could form truly unrealistic understandings of what’s pleasurable and how they should pursue sexual gratification.
Men exploring their own bodies and seeking an individual approach towards enjoyment is not something that we see often. Porn produces a commercial representation of what sex’s supposed to be like. This image is equally toxic for men and for women.
Women Using Sex Toys More Confidently and Openly Than Guys
According to sexologists, many men still find it emasculating to rely on a fleshlight or a pocket pussy to get off.
Whether it comes to the realistic small dildo or something kinkier, most women today don’t have a ton of hold-ups when it comes to experimenting with sex toys.
Men can’t even admit that they’d like to use a device in their masturbation or in the sexual activities enjoyed with a partner. Thus, it’s not that men don’t want to use sex toys. Very often, they’re afraid to admit so because they could be perceived as less masculine for that.
Again – society puts a lot of pressure on men to perform and to be self-sufficient in sex. Using something to get off could be perceived as a guy not knowing what to do or “lacking” something in the sexual department. Obviously, such stereotypes and generalizations couldn’t be further from the truth.
Sex toys for solo play and sex toys for couples are in no way a replacement for a partner. They could simply achieve things and produce kinds of stimulation that the human body isn’t capable of.
There’s a large cultural problem and while a shift has started taking place, it’s still having a profoundly negative impact on male sexual exploration.
Men Need to Start Using Sex Toys and Stop Feeling Ashamed
Everybody deserves sexual pleasure and gratification. It doesn’t really matter how such enjoyment is received, as long as a person is having safe and consensual fun (whenever a partner is involved).
All men can benefit from sex toys. While gay men are more open to these, straight guys are the ones who are most severely affected by cultural and social stereotypes.
The use of sex toys isn’t emasculating, whether it comes to masturbation or making sure that a partner is having a good time. Giving someone the gift of an orgasm is something special and it doesn’t matter how the couple has gotten there.
The same applies to solo play.
Masturbation can be a lot more fun and it can produce deeper experiences when the right toy is employed. The male sex toy market is already becoming diversified enough to give everyone something to their liking. What it takes to discover a suitable toy is literally doing a few minutes of online research.
The stigma is being lifted and attitudes towards male sex toy use are changing but the process is still pretty slow. It’s up to us to take matters into our own hands (literally). The growing market share of male sex toys stands as evidence of the fact that some guys are already seeking change proactively. Those who are still hesitant should definitely move ahead with a purchase. So far, there aren’t guys who have come forward to report just how emasculated they’ve become after the purchase.